Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for the many blessings in our lives, and we celebrate with turkey, stuffing and all the trimmings. Being surrounded by family helps bring warmth to the holidays whether you are in the frozen tundra up north or the southern topical heat. This Thanksgiving we had endless turkey and stuffing, and lots of family by our side. This Thanksgiving we gave thanks for an amazing man - my father! You see, on Thanksgiving evening after days of taking care of him at home with hospice, we said goodbye for now and walked him to the gates of heaven. My mother, all my brother and sisters and many grandchildren were by his side to the very end to celebrate his legacy with laughter and tears. From a funny story of his antics to words of encouragement for ones who could not bear the thought of being without him, my father would have had it no other way.
My father’s joy for life was evident from the very beginning. As a handsome G.I. with knobby knees, he would capture the heart of Doris Jeanne, my mother. Married for 55 years, God blessed them with seven children and 19 grandchildren (any many canine friends whom he loved dearly). Both my mother and father worked hard to raise their children with God in their hearts and a great sense of well being. Dad would jokingly tell everyone who would listen that he raised the seven kids on his own. Mom would be right behind him smiling knowing better, but not saying a word. He encouraged us from day one to be the best we could be. His trust in us was unbelievable. “Colleen, I don’t know what you are doing all the time when you’re away from home but I trust you will be making good decisions.” For the most part, those words kept me from making bad decisions, not because I would get in trouble, but because I didn’t want to disappoint him.
I look back on my life with my father and realize how it has shaped the person I am today. I am a strong woman with backwards knees who on occasion would make some really bad decisions. He never judged me. There were plenty of times that he could have said, “Are you crazy young lady”. Nope, not this man. He loved me no matter what and supported me in all my decisions. I try to treat my children the same way but I am too opinionated.:)
My dad was a very funny man. He was always cracking jokes, often with an inappropriate punch line and capped off with his signature grin/smirk. Looking like Johnny Carson, and with the mannerisms of Regis Philbin, he always had an off color joke to tell. My mother being the lady she is would just smile and say, “Oh Don!” Even while he was sick he never lost his sense of humor. About a week before he died, my niece Stacy was visiting him in the hospital. While he was in the hospital we would always have to orient him due to his confusion. Stacy asked, “Grandpa, do you know who I am”? Grandpa replied, “If you don’t know who you are by now, your shit out of luck.” Needless to say, that brought a smile to Stacy that day.
He treasured all his family and we felt the same way. He was always telling people that he was the luckiest man on earth. Indeed he was quite lucky and blessed. At 48 years of age he had a heart attack and had to have major heart surgery. The doctors said that he was fortunate to have survived. We were so blessed to have him for the 35 extra years. He would always say, “The man upstairs will decide when it is time.”
The man upstairs decided that Thanksgiving, November 24, 2011 was that time. I don’t believe I will feel sad on future Thanksgivings just because he died on Thanksgiving. I instead will be more cognizant of all the people in my life that I have been blessed with. I once said a long time ago that when my father died, some part of me would die with him. I was wrong. If anything, I now have a new part of me that will carry on his legacy with only kindness in my heart. I love you Dad!
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