Good morning everyone! Kids are off to school and I am ready to start my day.
Our trip to NYC was amazing! We came home on Sunday and started to make plans for the future. My lease on my townhouse was almost done, so we decided to move in together. By February the move was complete. It is not easy fitting two whole households into one, we did manage though. Things were just wonderful! Kids got along great , even the two dogs decided to be friends.
During this time, the lung specialist watched the spot on my lung. Every chest xray would come back with the same size inactive spot. My Oncologist and lung doctor finally decided to get a biopsy of it. This biopsy would be by inserting and very long needle through back into the mass. It would be done under xray. I am happy to say that I did not feel a thing! I went about my business and continued to plan a wedding. Chris found the perfect spot for our July 10, 2008 wedding. Newport Beach, Rhode Island. The place was Castle Hill Inn. An amazing location! We planned on only having our families there on our special day. Our family consisted of approximately 60 people. My family all lived in Michigan, so they all agreed to make the trip. (Love you all). My colors were ivory and clover green. It was to be an Irish wedding. Both Chris and I are Irish of course. Our daughters were the Bridesmaids and our sons the Groomsmen. Everything was coming together.
Late February, I was making dinner and the phone rang. It was my lung specialist. It was later in the evening, so I knew it had to be important. "Colleen I received your biopsy results and your colon cancer has spread to your lung. I am sorry. You need to go back to your oncologist for additional treatment." I stood there in the dining room staring into space. I didn't know what to think, what to do. I kept thinking, oh my God I have lung cancer! That fear and numbness in my body returned. I didn't cry. Chris was not home from work yet. People who I had never met before stopped by the house to see Chris. I invited them in and attempted to appear interested. I excused myself and went to the bathroom and called my mother. Besides Chris, my mother is always the first phone call. I told my mother, "I have lung cancer!" She tried to assure me that I was under great care and that we would once again win this battle. I spoke to her for a short while when I heard Chris come in. He was visiting with the couple in the living room. I came out and continued to try to entertain his friends. Luckily, they were there for a very short time. He knew by looking at me that something was wrong. After they left, I took him into the bedroom and told him the news. I think he of course was in disbelief. He quickly started with the encouragements. "You are so strong and have beaten this before", " I will be here during every moment to help you through this." We held each other that night. I told my daughter who was 18 at the time. She has also been my rock through this. She cried, we cried. I tried to tell her how tough her mom is with a smile on my face. "I am not going anywhere!" I have a very strong faith in God. I believe he can get you through anything. Every night I pray to him. I am specific when I pray. Tell him exactly what you want. Don't leave it open ended, you might not like the results.
I called my son in Michigan. He was 20 at the time. He has a big heart and the only thing he had to say was, "Mom you are so strong and I know you can beat this". You know something he is damn right! I am an Irish women with 5 brothers and sisters. Four children and step children and a few marriages under my belt. I am one tough gal!
Within a couple of days I had my PICC line back in my arm and started my first chemo treatment. It was the same drugs as before. I chose to stay with my original oncologist. I was not going to MDAnderson in Houston because I liked my doctor who helped me through my last journey. I received three different drugs; Avastin to cut blood supply to the tumor site, Oxysaliplatin which is a iv chemo agent and Xyloda which is a oral chemo agent. They were big pink pills. I won't take pink pills ever again. Every three weeks times 8 was the plan. I arrived at the infusion place with my husband by my side. I can do this!!!!! As soon as the infusion was over, all the symptoms came back to reality. Can't drink anything cold because the medicine shoots pins and needles feeling down your throat. Can touch anything cold because pins and needles shoot through your hands. I sat in the car on the way home and cried. Not because I hurt, but because I couldn't believe it was happening all over again. During my first week, I would be in bed and eating maybe 300 calories a day. I would drop 8-10 pounds by the end of the week. Now believe it or not, you might find this strange, I weighed myself everyday. By week two I was feeling better but weak. Week three, watch out!!!! I was feeling great and gain all but 1 pound back. This continued for several months.
We continued to plan the wedding. Chris did a large portion of it. Again I say, I am the most blessed person around to have Chris to share my life with! We scheduled the wedding and chemo so that I would be having my great week when we had the wedding. I then would fly home to Houston and have chemo that Monday. It's all in the planning!!
I will stop here because I need to go to the gym now. I have so much more to tell you. I appreciate all of your patience. I will be blogging again in a couple of hours. Take care
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