My Father

My Father
Love you Dad!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Light in Total Darkness

Hi everyone I am back from picking up my step daughter from school.  Managed to drink a latte on the way.  Oh, how I love Starbucks!!

Anyway, let me continue with my story about the better half of 2007.  At this time I was the Director of Nursing , so working extremely long hours.  I knew very few people in Houston.  My children kept me busy outside of work.  I couldn't help but think about my future.  Questions like crazy running through my head.  Will I ever fall in love again?  Will my cancer come back?  And finally, did the dry cleaners shrink these jeans?????  I actually considered using internet dating.  I had no time to meet anyone.  One night I just signed up.  Pow!!! There it was in front of me.  My profile for dating.  I could shape it anyway I wanted to.  It was kind of exciting, yet kinda scary!  Match.com was the website.  I dated but quickly found out that meat market was not the shopping experience I wanted.  In August of 2007, I went to EHarmony.  It was a Christian based site.  I think it took about 3 hours to answer all the questions.  Christopher joined on the very same day.  It was August 19th.  Now, on this website they take all the answers from questions and match them up with other individuals.  I received an email from EHarmony with a picture of Christopher.  Tall dark and very handsome!  We were not allowed to speak to each other at first, only answer some questions that we both had developed.  Within a few interactions they gave us the ability to email each other.  It was like a light turned on.  We had so much in common.  By the third or fourth day we had a plan to go on a date that Sunday.  During that week before the date ,we were joined at the phone via text and emails.  I know this sounds crazy, but I felt so much, so strong, so soon!!!!  I would watch the clock at work to get out of there just to speak on the phone with him.  It was like I was 16 again!!!
Our date was on Sunday, August 26th.  (We still celebrate that anniversary btw).  He picked me up at my house.  He was just as handsome as he portrayed.  He gave me a gift that night.  I cook book in which he wrote inside; ( Colleen, I thought of you when I saw this at Barnes and Noble.  Let's try a few together, to learn about great food and wine parings and to learn about us and grow together.  Chris PS: Tu est Tres Jolie.)  Yes, I was blown away!  Our relationship blossomed.  I fell in love with that man at hello. Really!!
Now, I must say that mothers are very protective.  My mother was convinced that he could be one of those crazy people on the internet.  I tried to convince her that he was above board. lol.  When she finally met him, it was crystal clear.
In early September Chris lost his father to lung cancer.  It was a very difficult time for him.  He spent time traveling back and fourth to Boston where is parents live.
We spent every waking hour together.  One weekend he even took care of me when I was sick with a fever.
He gave such unconditional love.  The strangest thing is I went to visit my parents in Florida shortly after and had that same fever.  I did not put two and two together at that time.  The fever came and went and I felt great once more!  Within a couple of months from meeting each other, we had fallen in love and starting talking about the future (marriage).  Two kids and each side.  They got along well.  It was all falling into place.  I was in heaven!
I had an appointment in October with my Oncologist like I always do.  I get blood drawn and sometimes get and chest xray or a cat scan depending on the time of year.  I had blood drawn and  chest xray and went on my marry way.  I day later I receive a phone call at work.  The oncologist's  nurse is on the phone. " My lab work was fine but there is a small something on my left lung.  It looks like an old infection site. "  "We want you to see a lung specialist".  My body went numb and the fear returned.  The fear of the cancer returning was back!  It is a fear like no other.  I immediately began praying to God for everything to be fine.  I hung up the phone and called Chris.  I told him everything.  He right away left work to head for my house.  He got there before I did.  I walked up the stairs and collapsed into his arms in tears.  What am I going to do?  I am only 43 years old.  OMG, the cancer has gone to my lung!  How can I survive this?  He held me and calmed me.  Assuring me that we knew nothing and it might be an infection.  Let the prayers begin.
I met with the lung specialist and review the chest xray findings.  Chris was right there by my side.  In my left lower lobe of my lung was this perfect circle.  Almost like I had inhaled a wedding band.  The doctor thought that is was probably an old infection but would get a cat scan to confirm.  The cat scan came out with the possibility of an infection with irritation of a lymph node next to it.  He wanted to watch it.  It had not changed in size so I went with it.  I put it in the back of my mind and continue on with my life.
Christmas time was spent at my parents in Canton , Michigan.  Chris had a chance to meet all the family.  I have 5 brothers and sisters, so it was alot to take in.  I think they fell in love with him also from hello!  It was a wonderful time.  I had met his family that Fall.  He is from the Boston area.  Our families were so much alike.  Crazy, fun, loving and lots of children running around.
The new year came and we started making plans for the future.  My birthday was coming up and he wanted to take me somewhere nice.  It was suppose to be a surprise.  The night before we left for the trip he told me that we were going  back to Michigan to see my parents.  He could see in my eyes that I was surprise considering we had just been there a few weeks prior.  That morning we went to the airport and went to the gate.  The New York City gate that is..........!!!!!!  We were flying to NYC for my birthday.  I was so excited!!!!!

I have to take my stepson somewhere.  I will be back shortly.  Take care

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